How Is Dating a Boy-Toy Like Getting a Tattoo?

Dear Daisy,

I just started dating this really hot guy who is 26 (17 years younger). I’m attractive, in great shape because I’m a personal trainer and really don’t look my age (43) good genes I guess! He thinks I’m in my 30s. Should I get more involved? He’s really mature. None of my married girlfriends have dated younger men so I don’t know what to expect. They’re all cheering me on! What should I do?

Sincerely, “J-Lo in Miami”

Dear “J-Lo in Miami,”

Of course they are. They want to live vicariously through you and hear all the dirty, studly details! It’s way flattering to your ego and I’m sure it’s inspiring to start your own Save the Children initiative like Madonna, J-Lo and Demi Moore. Difference is, because Madonna or J-Lo are in a power position, they call the shots and don’t get attached — chewing up these tykes like a handful of Skittles. (Isn’t Casper on J-Lo’s payroll?)

Even though Demi and Ashton endured centuries past the boy-toy relationship expiration date, it was doomed for failure because  — breaking news — at different ages men and women want different things.

Dating a younger man initially feels dangerous and spontaneous, much like getting a tattoo at an all-night tattoo parlor. But, you might stare at this the next morning and wonder how much tequila you had. And if you should get rid of it. Fortunately, the younger man doesn’t require expensive laser removal. But if you want a long-term commitment from junior, that could be a worse problem.

For a woman, 17 years is too enormous a gap that could result in — no matter how mature he seems – insurmountable problems including awkward lapses in conversation. (BTW you will have to get out of bed at some point and actually talk.) It’s probable you’ll have to give him lengthy explanations with accompanying Google searches after making TV, music or pop culture references because he was in diapers when they happened. Gacck.

Even a rational older woman can start falling in love and secretly imagining a cozy life together, while a 26-year old male – no offense intended – has the attention span of a squirrel and does not think past the next time he’s in bed with you for “woo-hoo, crazy cougar sex.”

If you can handle the detachment and expect zero commitment, go for it for a short amount of time like sex boot camp or a yummy snack. Otherwise, no swimming in the kiddie pool!

Daisy

*Opinions expressed by Daisy Olivera are not intended as a substitute for actual legal, financial, medical or psychological help by a professional. This is solely for entertainment. Questions may be edited for length and/or grammar.