Dear Daisy,
I’m married with two wonderful kids. My husband is a handsome, charming, successful man. We’re involved in Miami’s society scene as hosts and benefactors of many events and organizations. He’s 15 years older than me which isn’t that much compared to other society couples. We look like the perfect couple.
The problem is that I have fallen for another man. He’s my son’s soccer coach and is 15 years younger than me – I’m 41 but don’t look it. We meet during the week when the kids are in school and my husband’s at work. I can’t stop thinking about him and the incredible sex we have! He says he’s in love with me and is pressuring me to leave my husband and marry him. I’m wondering if it’s also because I give him expensive designer presents… clothes, shoes, a watch. He’s said several times the I should buy him a condo that we could both live in. I don’t work, my husband supports me. What do I do? I can’t lose him but I don’t want to lose my comfortable lifestyle either!
Love my Birkins
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Dear “Love my Birkins,”
OMG! No you didn’t! (But, you’re not the first socialite to do something like this). Obviously, you’ve been lacking that thrill of something juicy and I’m not talking sweatpants. You don’t mention that your husband is an ogre, an alcoholic, beats you or has cheated on you. It’s an insanely fabulous boost to your ego that at 41, this hottie is turned on by you. Let me be the voice of reason. Yes, the studly soccer coach is exciting and sneaky, Cirque du Soleil-ish type sex is great – for now – but when the smoke clears, and we hope it’s not smoke coming from a gun your husband owns – you will regret this.
You’ve built an entire life with your husband but as often happens, long working hours and the routine of family kills the excitement of first lust and love. That’s normal. You have to grow up and end it with the soccer stud before your husband finds out. Why is he pressuring you to marry him? Does he want to better his lifestyle? Does he think you’ll remain rolling in the cash despite a divorce? Does he want a Soccer Sugar Mommy? Doesn’t he know that divorces are financial nightmares for both people? Never mind if the woman is the one cheating and her husband is her sole financial support!
If you want to know what it feels like to lose your wealthy lifestyle, go shopping at a Dollar Store, rent a one bedroom apartment in Little Havana and try staying there a few times a week while – gasp! – doing your own hair. If that doesn’t wake you up, nothing will.
You need to figure out how to recharge your marriage. STAT! Go to therapy by yourself first to get to the bottom of what’s going on in your head. If that’s not enough, suggest couples therapy to your husband. Blame it on a midlife crisis. Anything! And hopefully this jaunt into athletics will be just a fun memory for your old age instead of the catalyst for the destruction of your whole life. Even Denny’s isn’t hiring in this economy.
And contrary to some schools of thought, no confessions. I’ve had friends confess after ending an affair only to have it backfire and the husbands and wives divorced them anyway. Spilling your guts is about as attractive as it sounds. I do think you answered your own question already. Keep me posted and have a hopefully Happy (Soccerless) New Year!
Daisy
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*Opinions expressed by Daisy Olivera are not intended as a substitute for actual legal, financial, medical or psychological help by a professional. This is solely for entertainment. Questions may be edited for length and/or grammar.
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